Our Beautiful Fergs
So, this post sucks. Its mostly being written as catharsis for me, as I can’t cry anymore at this point. Yesterday we had to make a horrible decision, to part ways with our beloved cat Fergie. She was 16ish years old. She was a rescue 13 years ago (from the fine people at https://torontocatrescue.ca/) when my wife got her, and they weren’t quite sure how old she was (2-4 was the best guess). She had been sick for the past couple of weeks. It had looked like she was getting better, then last night, it was back to the emergency vets and back to ground zero on her health. We couldn’t bear the thought of making her continue to make visits to the vets (something she hated, our 3kg cat had a violent tag in the vets system, but she was all howl and no bite, the mean people who abused her as a kitten had destroyed her teeth), or risk making her suffer in pain for our benefit of keeping her with us when she was clearly in pain and discomfort. Anyone who has owned a pet can no doubt understand how horrible this decision is to make. But this post is about remembering how much we love her, how much happiness she brought us, and how hopefully she knew how much we love her and how hard we worked to care for her and make up for a lousy first couple of years of her life, even though every time I see this post I’m gonna cry for months.
Many Moods of Fergie
Every day when I got home from work she’d come running out of the office/train room with a look that combined “I just got out of bed” with “I’ve been playing with your stuff and you won’t know what I did” and come charging across the apartment looking for treats and cuddles. My heart is going to break every day when I get home for the next bit without that happy combination of crying and purring our arrival home earned us.
Fergie befriending model trains
For a little kitty that played like she didn’t like people, she was full of love and affection when it came on her terms. She was slow to warm up to me when I first came into her life, but over the years, she accepted me and would barge into whatever I was working on when she decided it was time for food, or litter box cleaning, or cuddles, or more often than not, treatses. Even just a couple of hours in the apartment cleaning up after we got home have been constant reminders of the giant absence in our hearts.
Fergie is too cool for BB8
Fergie Squawking up a Storm
I could take the No Cats Allowed box away, but now I don’t want to.
So, I think I’m taking a break from the blog for a couple of weeks. There are a bunch of half written or half thought out posts I could finish, but I think I’m calling time on 2017. I may try to do a year in review post before I go away for a vacation on Boxing Day, or I may not, we’ll see how I feel. I just know right now my heart isn’t into model trains. It just isn’t the same without a loving furrball trying to get her hair into my paint and glue while I work, even if she was in another room at the time 🙂